The Mamahood

Jack of All Trades

One of the downsides to owning your own business is that you are the business: You're the tech support, the accountant, the office manager. And while I'm adept at turning a phrase or putting together a giant Excel file cataloging every page on a website (sooo much fun to do), my skills in the other departments leave something to be desired.

Take, for example, tech support. After my computer meltdown I splurged on a Time Capsule to try and back up my computer, so I wouldn't end up calling my husband at work in hysterics on another Friday afternoon. I've spent about 2 hours today trying to get it to install into my current wireless network, but all I get is the flashing amber light (which isn't good). Apparently, there have been problems with these, but all the advice I've found on Mac forums is written in computer geek, a language I cannot speak.

I'm similarly accounting challenged. Accounting for my business comes in the form of a giant Excel file. One worksheet for assignments and fees, and when I finally get paid. Another worksheet for expenses. Simple. Less simple, however, is the timesheet issue. I have to fill in timesheets for my advertising clients, with fancy job codes, accounting for every quarter hour I spend on their work. And invariably, I don't do it right: I slap in the wrong code, forget to hand them in for weeks at a time, etc. You'd almost think I was working for fun instead of for gas and food money.

At least I've managed to outsource one aspect of business—my "office" (AKA my living room) is cleaned weekly by a lovely woman named Aileen. And frankly, I'd much rather try to tackle tech issues than the toilets.

Birthday Party Bias

My daughter has two preschools. One is a half-day program for two days a week, the other a full-day program three days a week. And she seems to be pretty darned popular at both. The problem? For the kids in the half-day class, Friday afternoons have become the "it" time to host birthday parties. Which means that either A. I have to give up precious work time (and the full-day program that I've paid for), so my daughter can be the belle of the ball...er, birthday party or B. She has to miss out on a day at the movies, a party at a gymnastics place, etc.

Neither option exactly floats my boat. But because of my current workload, B is the only option. Unless, of course, I can convince the SAHMs who dominate my daughter's preschool that actually, Saturday would be a much better choice. Not very likely though, I can imagine.

Disaster

Today, my computer decided to "Sad Mac." Right after I downloaded all the Christmas pictures to my computer. So I lost not only photos that are irreplaceable, but I also lost several key interviews and a draft for a story I'm working on, many songs I downloaded from iTunes and didn't bother to stick on my iPod and a big project for a client that is mostly replaceable (though I lost several days' worth of work).

I've watched that Sex and the City where Carrie's laptop craps out multiple times. I bought the new Leopard OS so I could "Time Machine" my computer and easily back up. And just the other day, the computer prompted me to back up, as I hadn't in several days. So I really have no one to blame but myself. And those darned people at Apple, who apparently sold me a lemon. (My dear husband's computer, which is a hand-me-down iBook G4 that used to be my "business computer," runs infinitely better, faster and with fewer bugs than my much newer MacBook.) Tomorrow, I'll be praying that the computer gods at the local Mac store can retrieve my info and find my hard drive. And I'll be hoping that regardless of how much they salvage, they take pity on me and my Sad Mac, which is barely a year old and has already been in the shop 3 times for issues, and put us both out of our misery. I'm a great customer. I deserve better than this Sad Mac.

The Mommy Wars Meet Reality TV

For some truly riveting TV, check out The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom, now showing Monday nights on TLC. On the show, a long-time SAHM gets the chance to see the path she could have taken...if only she'd stayed in the job force. I missed the premiere, in which one SAHM tried out life as a fashion designer, and decided to take the job that was offered to her. But the episode I did catch was actually more fascinating to me: the SAHM got a chance to serve as a sous chef at a swanky restaurant. She stumbled at the beginning, but did great by the end, and was offered a job. After much soul searching and many tears, she decided to stay home with her kids instead.

What I love about the show? I think it's trying to illustrate that these are individual choices that each mom must make for themselves—and it's not an easy choice to make. There are times I second guess my decision to keep working (even though that's purely hypothetical, as we'd practically be living in the car without two incomes). But I've done what works for me—a career, but with flexibility. And I'm lucky to have that option.

The bad part of the show? Apparently, the show's message board have become a bitter battlefield, with virulent attacks on working moms, SAHMs. Let's get over it, girls. Until you walk a mile in another mom's stilettos or sneakers, you don't understand her. We all make the decision we think is best for us and for our families. And it's nobody's business but ours.

Bringing Home the Bacon

According to a new poll, men aren't as eager these days to take on the breadwinner role solo, and more men wouldn't mind if their wives brought home more bacon than they did. And since just a few years ago, the media were trumpeting that men feel emasculated if they don't make as much money as their wives (which is complete and utter bunk, in my opinion), it's pretty big news.

It makes me wonder what life will be like for our kids...will they usher in when most men serve as stay-at-home dads, nurturing the little ones while the women conquer the corporate world?

Sex and the City, Redux (Times Two)

The writers' strike left us with slim pickings as far as nonreality TV shows to watch (and there are limits to the number of times I can watch a Grey's Anatomy rerun). So I started checking out the new stuff the networks started trotting out: In particular, I was interested in two virtually identical shows, Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia. Both were helmed by Sex and the City vets (LJ got the writer, CM got the producer) and featured remarkably similar concepts--longtime friends who just happen to be ultra successful and for the most part, married. Consider them, Sex and the City, 5 years later.

The plot points are so identical, they border on plagiarism: One married pal considers cheating (or does the deed); the working mom has a hard time juggling career and family; someone gets courted by a billionaire. And per usual, one works in fashion/beauty and one in the oh-so-glamorous magazine industry. (Which, I can assure you, is not as glamorous as it's portrayed on TV.) And both star one big, fancy movie star.

So which one got my vote? (And the almost thumbs-up from my husband, who calls them both, "Sucks in the City"...clever, that boy!) Quite clearly, it's smarter to reuse the writer from a hit show than the producer: Lipstick Jungle has the snappy repartee, the smart characters who are powerful (but ultimately, very likeable). Even after the first episode, I could relate. Cashmere Mafia just left me feeling flat...bland and boring dialogue, and cardboard characters who I couldn't care less about.

So if you're looking for something entertaining to while away the hours until the TV folks cobble together brand new episodes of your favorites, Lipstick Jungle is worth an hour investment.

Learning to Say No

"No" is a favorite word of my daughter's...in fact, she's using it as I write this to try and weasel out of teeth brushing and pajama wearing. So what happens between 3 and 30 that makes it so darned hard for us to say no?

The only person who hears "No" from me on a regular basis is my daughter, as in "No, you can't have cookies for breakfast," and "No, you cannot jump on the couch with a lollipop in your mouth." (We're really strict around our house.)

But for my clients, there's never a no to be heard. Need a quick revise on that story...today? Of course! Want that report turned around before noon? Certainly! Can I write three stories by Wednesday (while still meeting the aforementioned deadlines for my other clients)? I'll make it happen. Which leads to the predicament I'm currently in...where all work and no play makes me a very cranky person to be around.

It's great financially...we're on track to have our finances in tip-top shape when our second child comes home. It's great for business, because I've become an indispensable part of my clients' plans. But eventually, I'm going to have to say no. And I haven't been able to figure out who to say no to...or how to do it. If only it were as easy as my daughter makes it look.

Free Money!

If you haven't signed up for Ebates yet, now's a good time. (If you haven't heard of it, it's a site that offers discounts at various e-tailers, and you get a nice fat check every quarter of all the money you've saved...I earned $14 in my first quarter with them.) But if you sign up now through February 14th, they'll double their usual "signing bonus" from $5 to $10.

Give it a try!

Drama

So...a child-care professional in our daughter's world decided to tell me that our daughter "is very socially delayed" and may need to go to a "special school for children with autism or socialization problems." Which struck me as very strange, since I've seen my daughter behave beautifully on playdates with my friends' kids, and the other child-care professionals who have regular contact with our daughter have said nothing of the sort. When I mentioned that, I was told that my daughter must be having playdates with very "laid-back" children, and she's probably palling around with "socially dysfunctional" kids at the other child-care place.

These were very serious allegations, and we didn't want to take them lightly. So I spent hours on the internet that night (despite a big work deadline), searching for information on social development, to see where our daughter was going awry. I called family members and friends, to see if they felt that there was something wrong with our little girl, and they just hadn't had the heart to say anything. I posted on my chat boards about my daughter's behavior, to see if others thought it was atypical. And I went to the other child-care professionals who care for our daughter, to see if they noticed anything awry. When I mentioned sending my daughter to a special school to this child-care pro, she raised her eyebrows. "Do you mean because she's exceptionally bright?" Yeah.

This was the final straw...we've been having issues with this child care situation for a while, and it's now time to move on. Of course, this comes just as I've become very busy with work, so I not only don't have time to search out something new, I can't keep my daughter home with me. So if anyone around here knows someone who'd be willing to care for what one child-care professional deemed "a very happy, very social, exceptionally bright little girl," let me know.

Following Your Dream

If you need inspiration to get off your tookus and start doing the things you want to do (instead of the day-in, day-out garbage that "has" to get done), start following the tips in this story. I'm using the ideas to try to jump start my writing. Give it a go!