The Mamahood

Opting In or Opting Out

For a long time, the raging working-mom story is that all the moms were quitting the career track for the mommy track. But now, apparently, the trend is reversing—and the moms who were at home are hitting the job market, thanks to concern about shrinking 401Ks or their husband's job security (or lack thereof).

I'm not exactly sure this is the case. First of all, where are the jobs that these women are supposedly nabbing? (From what I've heard and seen, the job market is exceptionally tight.) And second of all, I haven't seen any such trend amongst my friends and family members. Yeah, there are a few who did decide to become SAHMs, but it seems to have nothing to do with the lack of corporate support. It was strictly a personal preference. The bigger trend, at least among my friends, is to quit the corporate lifestyle and become entrepreneurs. Of my close circle of mommy friends, only a few are holding down a traditional, in-the-office, sick-days kind of job. The vast majority call their own shots, which makes it easier to make it to morning dropoff or that all-important preschool play. 

I do think that corporate America is failing families big time, by refusing to allow their workers the flexibility they need to have a healthy work-life balance (and make them much more motivated to work hard for their employer). As an entrepreneur, I put in plenty of hours (probably even more than I did in my corporate job)—but because I'm my own boss, I'm able to make adjustments to my schedule to accommodate my family. And I feel very, very lucky for that.

Joining the Club

I understand that we shouldn't have everything for our kids handed to us on a silver platter. For example, I wasn't expecting that signing up my oldest for kindergarten would involve the people from the elementary school down the street showing up on our doorstep with the school schedule and the forms all filled out for us to sign. But it seems like we need to always be jumping through (numerous) hoops for the simplest things.

For instance, we wanted to get our youngest into a particular preschool that we love. They do lots of amazing things with the kids, have excellent teachers, everything you're looking for in your kids' first educational experience. We had to fill out the application, with an essay. That part seemed a little odd, since the school professed to using a lottery system to fill their slots. And since it wasn't college, and there isn't much to really say, other than, "We liked your school, our child needs to go to school, and we will have some money in our bank account to pay you for the privilege of sending our daughter to your school." I mean, my youngest may already be telling knock-knock jokes at 27 months, but she's not researching cancer cures or anything intriguing like that yet.

My daughter actually got wait listed (as did my oldest...who never had the opportunity to go to this fine institution). We finally got word that she's in yesterday, and need to pony up 1/3 of the tuition ASAP. Even though she won't be attending school for another six months. But I'm just thrilled she's in.

Because it could be worse...getting my oldest daughter into the camp we want for the summer involves waking up before dawn to stand in line for a few hours in order to ensure she gets a spot. Since I'm going to be standing in line with a few of my buddies, I guess we could try and pretend we're waiting in line for something cool like concert tickets (though sadly, even in my younger, cooler days, I never even did that). And at least we aren't being forced to stand in line with our children in tow.