Four years ago today, I became a mother. At least, on paper. The adoption agency called me at work, and my heart skipped a beat (or 20). I started crying as the social worker told me that she had good news...and proceeded to give me the bare-bones info on our oldest daughter. When she was born, where she was found, her name, and where she'd been living. And that we could swing by the agency that night to get our first glimpse of her face. I spent the rest of my hours at work in a frenzy, hunting down my husband to give him the good news, calling friends and family, and finding out all that I could about our daughter's province and orphanage.
I was shaking as I walked up to our agency, and paced frantically in front of it, waiting for my husband. For the first time in our nearly two-year journey to adoption, we both admitted a secret fear that we'd been harboring—that somehow we wouldn't find our future bundle of joy beautiful.
That fear was laid to rest when the photographs were produced. She was breathtakingly beautiful, from her rosebud lips right to her ultraprominent ears. We barely heard a word as our social worker went over her details—her excellent health checkups, her penchant for TV watching, her ability to tear paper and love of books. We were both focused on those beautiful photos, on wondering how we'd been lucky enough to be matched with the most brilliant, beautiful and bright baby on the planet (we could tell all that from a 2 x 2 photograph).
Today, many other families are getting that same once-in-a-lifetime day, as agencies around the world received that same package of photographs, tiny pictures that these parents-to-be memorize over the coming weeks as they wait for the go-ahead to travel to China and meet their new children. I never get tired of reading the blog posts of future parents as they share these tiny details (loves to eat! a deep sleeper!) and those beautiful photos. I have first-hand experience with that nearly unattainable level of joy, and I can hear it in every word they post.
And some days, even though my husband and I agree that our family is finished (and China has decreed it so), I wish I could live it all over again.
Alas, I have a medical condition that is explicitly a "no no" under the 5/07 rules. Honestly, though, I definitely feel like we're "done," but I'm just a little sad that we won't have another one of those amazing, "here's your baby" days. Those are the best days.
Posted by: Lisa | June 17, 2009 at 09:58 AM
what a great post! isn't referral day so fun, for everyone in the community?! i wasted sooo much time the other day poring over all teh new baby pics.
just curious, why has china decreed you are done? which qualifier would that be? do you know anyone who is getting in under the new rules from may 07? do the new rules apply to special needs adoptions? i'll stop now ;)
Posted by: The Gang's Momma | May 28, 2009 at 06:41 PM